The Oregon Trail - with a special needs child

diagnosis: AUTISM

The first mistake we made was dividing up our family duties. It seemed pretty logical and seemed like the only way that we could pull all of this off. I concentrated on Bradley, running his Applied Behavior Analysis program and dealt with our dispute with the school district. My husband concentrated on the other three kids, the homework, the games, Dr.'s appointments, grocery shopping, etc. It didn't work, it only divided us. The most consuming of course, was the dispute (to put it lightly) with the school district. It turned into an "I" thing instead of a "we" thing. I resented him not doing more in this department and he resented my spending so much time on it. What we realize now is that it would have been better to remain team members than to become co-workers.

I stopped by a friends house last night, just to say "hi" and we ended up talking for hours. I left with a whole lot to think about. Here is one analogy that she shared with me: When a child jumped off a covered wagon on the Oregon Trail, the wagon did not stop... it kept on going. This doesn't mean that one or two did not go back on horses to retrieve the child. It just meant that the wagon kept on going no matter what, for the good and survival of the group as a whole. So, when advocating for your child it is important to let the wagon keep on going. Don't stop the family wagon for your child with a disability. The family is the foundation and must remain stable.

Do as much as you can without stopping that wagon, for the good of the entire family. In our case, we saw stopping the wagon to be a temporary thing. :o) This is where we made our second mistake.